The other night, as I was laying awake sleepless, my mind started drifting to thoughts of, “If only blogging was a thing when my kids were little. Oh the stories I could have shared with other moms.” And then I started laughing. Because seriously….I have stories. Upon stories.
My children were born 20 months apart. So just imagine yourself in the grocery store with 2 babies that are in infant seats and a toddler. You simply cannot fit 2 infants into a cart with a toddler, so what you do is you put one carrier into the basket, your 2 year old into the “fun truck” at the way front, and you take your 3rd infant and you put them in a wrap and wear them so that you have somewhere to put your food.
Halfway through the store, the kids start screaming…toddler doesn’t want to be in the truck. Or maybe he dropped his binky. Baby in carrier wakes and wants to eat. And baby you’re wearing is just generally pissed at life, because that’s her MO. So you rush. You push that bus (those things are so hard to maneuver, are they not??). And because you have infants are are not yet in your post-partum pants and also because its 2004 and the velour track suit is a popular thing, you are sporting one that day. And then it happens…the baby that you’re wearing, who is mad as hell, is thrashing and manages to rub your waistband so much that she undoes the drawstring on your pants. And just like that…they are around your ankles.
I kid you not.
But even better? The time that the twins were turbo 2 and the oldest was 3. I had my annual appointment and figured it would be easy peasy.
Miss Thang screamed and cried and you would have thought that someone was torturing her. All because someone was touching her mom. Mr. Inquisitive – the 3 year old- was in the corner asking what in the world they were doing to me. And the younger son was opening and closing the door. And opening. And closing. And opening. The OBGYN finally paged a nurse to come take my children, less the screeching girl, so I could relax for a moment. Relax. In stirrups. That irony is not lost on me.