Parenting is hard.
I’ve been seething internally ever since I read this post titled No Excuses: Parenting Isn’t Hard on BlogHer. In her article, the author writes,
“It is not hard to not treat people like shit. Children are small, dependent people, and we should be doubly sure not to treat them like shit.
Parenting is the very act of caring for these smaller people. It should not be synonymous with treating them in abusive ways.”
I totally agree. However, just because I don’t treat my children like crap or abuse them, doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle with parenting on a daily basis.
This is by far the hardest job or responsibility I’ve ever had. IT’S FREAKING HARD.
And I am not even talking about the basic things (incessant whining, selfishness, cleaning up bodily fluids, sleepless nights, etc). I am talking about being responsible for shaping a human’s future. I am shaping these people. They will become who they become as adults, in large, because of me.
And let me tell you, grace does not come naturally to me.
While I had a normal, happy childhood, I do come from a family who could have afforded to step it up a notch in the communications department. And perhaps yell a lot less. I get frustrated easily. And add to all of that, a struggle with depression and anxiety (can I still call it postpartum depression if its 8 years later?), and well, handling parenting obstacles with grace is a huge challenge to me.
And let’s face it. I am not a Susie Sunshine. Don’t look at me if you’re looking for someone who can find the positive in every moment. I try and live with a glass-half-full optimism, but come on…sometimes, I just want to curl up and say {bleep} it. I don’t cherish/embrace/find the positive in certain moments –like when my almost-10-year-old is yelling at his siblings. Or when my 8 year old daughter is whining because she can’t have her way. Or when her twin brother is stomping up to his room, screaming that he’ll just go there forever, because no one loves him and I am the meanest mom ever. I am also not selfless. I yell if someone interrupts my 4 minute shower. I am me. I am more than a parent. I need to do things that make me happy with myself and make me a good spouse and friend.
Parenting is hard. I want to find that line where my children respect me, yet confide in me. I want my children to be strong and never allow themselves to be bullies or be a bully. I want to expose my children to the world and give them room to grow and find themselves without helicoptering over them, but I also want to have an open eye, so I don’t miss anything I perhaps should have. I want them to have healthy body images of themselves. I want them to always know that they should pursue whatever it is that will make them happy…as long as its legal and doesn’t require them to live at home as an adult. 
I want them to have every opportunity that they should, but I don’t want to over schedule them, either. Such a fine line.
I am a model for my children. They watch and soak up everything I do. They watch how I handle situations. How I interact with other adults. All of this will determine how they someday act. Perhaps like me, perhaps not.
Parenting isn’t the only thing. I have a spouse. We had a relationship prior to having children and we’ll have one when our children are grown, so we need to make sure that we give ourselves time to be husband and wife, and not just mommy and daddy (and the breadwinner). If we don’t focus on having a healthy marriage, it will affect our children.
I’ll say it again. Parenting is hard. And if anyone tells you otherwise, they are kidding themselves and lying.
