Refusing to wear a bra


Remember reading Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. In the book, Margaret prays to God for things she desperately wants.  Things like, “I just told my mother I want a bra. Please help me grow God. You know where.”   Or the chant that Nancy (the one who actually lied about having her period) has her minions repeat while stretching their chests, “We must, we must, we must increase our bust!” Who does that? Who WANTS boobs to grow or to rush their period or lies about having that death sentence? Its funny to think some girls really get excited about those things (and some do. My girl has a friend who was stoked to get her first bra and can’t wait to get her period. crazy girl). I’ll admit it. I am not a fan of boobs. Or bras. But since I have them and I nursed 3 children with them, I wear them out of necessity. Or, maybe its out of vanity? So now here I am…with a daughter on the cusp of 12…who, *gasp*, needs a bra. And she is flat out refusing to wear one. I’ve been trying to figure out why. I mean, I know its not like Margaret + her friends day + age, but its not like its an uncommon thing. Several of her best girlfriends wear bras, some for over a year now. Punky_Brewster_Bra

While I didn’t anticipate her being giddy to get little buds, I had  imagined that buying her first bra(s) would be an exciting event…you know, we’d go to the mall, get pedicures, get starbucks…that kind of thing. But nope. Nothing like that. She wanted nothing to do with bra shopping, and when the bras came home, she shoved them to the waaaaaaay back of her underwear drawer. This girl…she’s so different than her brothers. They will talk to us about annnnnything and everything. But she’s quiet. Getting her to try and talk to me about why she’s being so resistant isn’t working. I suspect she is apprehensive about her changing body and the fact that she’s growing up (and living in a house with omggrossbrothers), but again, she won’t talk about it. Crap. If this is what bras are like, what’s the whole period thing going to be like? Shoot me now. Or maybe she just wants to join that whole #freethenipple campaign. Haha. Kidding. Totally kidding.

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  • Aimee

    Have you seen the bras from Yellowberry?
    (I personally love the story behind them)

  • Alyson M

    Oh, N. Silly girl. I will have Brookelyn keep on her. lol. I wish I had some advice, but I don’t. We’ve talked about this a bunch though and I can’t help but wonder why she is so, so insistant on not wearing one.

  • Andrea

    It’s a long time ago now, but I was exactly the same at her age. I was still a flat-chested tomboy when I turned 11, but as I approached 12,I had started to bud a little – which I tried to ignore and hide under baggy shirts etc. Mum noticed of course and bought me my first bras as a 12th birthday present. Well I hated them, both the way they felt and what they signified. They remained at the bottom of my underwear drawer for several months, while I continued to be in denial. Nature continued to take it’s course and eventually when things became too noticeable (and slightly sore) I had to start to wear the bras.
    So I guess it was just a case of me taking a little time to adjust to and accept my changing. Looking back, I’m glad that my mum gave me the time to adjust, rather than forcing the issue.

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